i went dark

The Smith family just returned from our first official 'family vacation'.  For some reason, it takes having more than 1 child for me to really feel like we can legitimately call any trips for pleasure 'family vacations', but either way--worth every penny we spent, and we sure didn't spend many!
We started off our trip on Sunday after church by grabbing some Jimmy John's (freaky fast!) and hitting the road to Des Moines where Jer had landed us a sweet hotel room downtown.  We unloaded and did a quick walk along the river and grabbed dinner at a brewery nearby, then headed back to our room for the night.

If any of you have done a hotel room with kids, you realize it is not actually a hotel room, it is a very classy prison of quietness and darkness. Our pain was eased when I ran down to the hotel bar to grab us drinks (IPA for him, Diet Coke with lime for her) and super expensive candy from the gift shop.
The next morning we headed out around 8 to our final destination, Edgewild Resort, in Fifty Lakes, MN.  We started it off wrong with a breakfast at McDonalds (Jer insists that all Smith vacations have to include this--I would personally like to nix this tradition) that included a completely wrong order and me waiting for 95 elderly persons wanting a refill on their coffee so I could get an Orange Juice.  Things smoothed out after this, and we cruised along, stopping for lunch and groceries to stock the cabin with at Target and arrived at our cabin around 4 on Monday.

Cabin #7, folks, in all its glory.

We easily had the shabbiest cabin of all, but our vacation eyes only saw peace, quiet, outdoors and beautiful time together as a family.  That was frankly exactly what we had, too.  We kayaked in the early morning hours (because when you have little little kids, you get the best morning time on the beach, when all the other families are still crashed), we hiked daily, we sipped coffee while building 'birthdays' in the sand (cakes/sand castles/mounds of dirt), we ate lunch on the paddle boat and dinner on the pontoon.  We sat on our deck in the evening and chatted about life. The weather was per-fec-tion.  I swept our floor that got covered in sand daily, and did dishes at our sink that overlooked the lake and honestly didn't even mind it. It was everything we wanted vacation to be.

Contrary to first glance, Ingrid is not wearing a doo-rag on the paddle boat.

Henry is actually driving the pontoon here-Jer and I were ROFL.

Teaching Henry to skip rocks--life, made.

Girls/Boys

Jer and I took turns making yummy dinners. Here is my fajita night!

 So much great time with her. Can't believe she's 5 months.

 Legos in the cabin. Stolen from the lodge.

Ice cream on our last night! This is in a nearby town called Crosslake. Henry had 'Superman' ice cream that night. Let's just say the bright colors combined to make for a shocking surprise in his potty the next day.

I am sort of convinced that part of why it was so great was that I 'went dark' for the majority of the vacation.  I could say I 'unplugged', but Jack Bauer would be so disappointed in me.  It was a personal decision, and I certainly didn't 100% adhere to this the whole vacation, but by and large I did not use the internet portion of my phone during our trip.  I took photos with it and used it to log a few runs I did while there, and did log in a few times while kids were napping or asleep for the night.  But I honestly haven't felt that present and a part of my own life for quite some time.  When Henry was playing, my phone was on a shelf in the cabin, as if it was (ha!) just any other material posession, equal to shoes or deodorant.  It wasn't in my hand or sitting nearby, just begging to be checked.  I wasn't painfully trying to get Henry to do something cute so I could Instagram it, or even worse, thinking how neat it was that people might be at work envying our super adorable family vacation.  I won't be making some bold statement about how I'm going to go back to my Motorola KRZR because being iPhone free was so liberating, but I certainly will take to heart that I was a better wife and mom during this week because I was a bad smartphone user.  I'll take that any day of the week.  That said, I did take photos of the vacation for the blog and our own family purposes.  Remember the good old days when you would develop a roll of film, choose the good photos and put them in an album and people might come over and flip through them while you had a (face to face) conversation? I kinda miss those days.  I do love having this blog for digital documentation of family events, but I also realize that our generation is undeniably headed towards quantity of relationships over quality, and I want to be keenly aware of how that is affecting my children and myself.
Has anyone else done a self-imposed media fast? What were your takeaways? Anyone want to make it more of a lifestyle change? I certainly am planning on that to at least an extent after this trip.  I have even researched some apps like this one that limit your notifications when activated so your phone isn't buzzing and distracting throughout the day.

I can't forget to mentioned the grand finale of our vacation--my brother's wedding!  We headed just a bit South of our cabin to celebrate with family and friends over the union of a couple great kids! It was beautiful and emotional and tons of fun!  Jer, Henry and I were all involved, so it was also very busy!  We are so excited about Kristi joining our family.  She's a great complement to my little brother and I am so glad he found a girl who can appreciate his crazy sense of humor:).

 Bridesmaids!

Chatting with the groom.

Today was an absolute vacation hangover in which I did little to be productive, and the kids and I all took 3 hour hangover naps and woke up still tired.  I did manage to get groceries, so at least it's not ketchup for dinner like it was last night.

Smitty, out.

Christ, Chipotle and choo choos, respectively.

I'm going to try something new and different and just say that, yes, it's been awhile since I posted. And it's possible it will be a long time before I post again. Or not. I am non-committal that way.
Also, who stole 2/3 of the summer straight from under my feet? How rude.
What have you been up to this summer? We have apparently been busy!  Let's see...there have been graduations, road trips, holidays, anniversaries, friends visiting, family visiting--and also life is happening and the wee ones continue to grow before our eyes. We have had fun in the midst of it all, I assure you! Want proof? Here she be.


There are now 5 Smith cousins.  Contrary to popular belief, we now know we are capable of producing the female variety of human. Amen!


Hanging out in front of Standard Style on the plaza, having a snack. He is Jerry's son.


Schliterbahn fun with Smith's for Abram's 5th birthday.  A good time (and a good tan) was had by all.


Hanging in Arkansas with Jon, Tonja and co.  Nani helped my fearful swimmer gain confidence in the water.


Though I have never done even a smidge of yoga in my life, my child can do (what I am told is) a plank. W2G Henry!

Cousin Kya came to visit.  Happiness ensued.

This? This is just life happening.

This boy and his trains...

As a side note, I want to share something I've been trying to embrace as a mom.  Do you know those people who you see at Target? Or Chipotle? Or the DMV? And they take a brief glance and say to you, (all together now!) "Wow, you've got your hands full!" I have never hated these people, but as I have learned, many moms do.  Some even come up with sweet (albeit cheesy) phrases like "Yes! Full of blessings!", etc.  I have no cheesy phrase to offer. I have no deep wisdom.  I do have this though.  Those people represent myself in about 20-30 years.  I will be a grandma or something like it.  My house will be quiet and my laundry minimal.  I genuinely will miss the constant noise/correction/bodily fluid that goes with the little ones.  I hope I won't miss it too much, but I guarantee I will think once or twice, "I wish I had been patient when it was the hardest" or "I wish I had left the laundry on the couch and played trains with Henry when he asked me to for the 35th (I kid you not) time that day."
I am trying to genuinely live now as if I am that person who misses their children once they're gone. Is that weird? It's the only way I can figure to have perspective on this crazy time in life.  I don't have a beautiful bible verse to go with where I am headed here....but I do believe God shows up in the midst of this.  Fine, take this one if you need it: Titus 2:11-14.    Either way, God has taught me this: Megan, I have given you this life. My gospel is not separate from parenting, not separate from being a wife, not separate from household tasks or finances.  How will you choose to let my gospel intersect with it in those million moments throughout the day when you often choose to bypass it?
If I don't at least try to figure this out, I guarantee I will have lots of regrets. I am working on it, as I imagine we all are learning to see how Christ's grace can intersect with the moments in each of our days. It's hard work, but I am seeing moments where I (shocker!) actually get it some shade of right.

-----get ready for whiplash.

I am trying to recreate this tank top that I have an outlandish affection for.

Why? Just, why? I have no answers. I am working on it.

Also, I have never shown pics of Ingrid's room, because, well, it's still in progress.  Here is what I do have:

But home is where the heart is, right? Not where the decor is perfectly coordinated or timed in accordance with your birth? I'm counting on it.

This may well be the only blog in the world that addresses gospel-centered living and a motorbike tank top at once.  That might just be me in a nutshell though. Thanks for visiting.

....of legacy and such.

I recently finished up a Bible study with the women of our church on idols.  I think we all found it to be a pretty significant study in our lives and felt that it forced us to look some things in the face that had crept into our day-to-day without us even really taking notice.  I'll be frank--mine was control.  I would love to have total and complete control over my life, and my children suffer the brunt of that struggle.

Henry: 'Hey mom, I'm gonna pee my pants because I'm a toddler and that's what I do.'
Me: 'I'm gonna lose it over something insignificant like urine because I didn't plan on having you pee all over the groceries in your strike zone.'

Ingrid: 'Yo, Ma. I see that pile of laundry you're going to fold while watching your favorite show, but I'm in the mood to cry because I'm an infant and I'd like you to just hold me.'
Me: 'You are sweet and adorable and smell delicious, but you were supposed to sleep for the next 30 minutes while I got stuff done, so now I'm going to be frustrated at you instead of gladly hold my adorable, healthy newborn baby girl.'

Typing it is even more embarrassing than the actual scenario.

I say all of the above to tell you that, towards the end of our study, we had a conversation about what it looks like to walk away from these idols, and more importantly, what would we run to? Would we just fill the holes that the idols left with yet another? No doubt that would be easier.  We talked about some of our passions that fell to the wayside once kids came in to the picture.  Because, as we Christians love to say, "Your children are your ministry now."  With all due respect, I disagree.  Yes, I desire to point my children to Jesus.  Yes, I will spend the majority of my time with them and my days will focus on their well being.  But I disagree that things I am passionate about and being a mom have to be mutually exclusive. Why not take my kids into some uncomfortable situations that don't fit neatly into nap time or maximize their enjoyment?

I believe God has gifted me with a heart that wants to serve others.  As I walk away from my idol of control (and many others), I want to embrace a little chaos for the sake of Jesus.  Can I get an Amen? Us moms also talked a bit about how walking away from idols and walking into meaningful things was the beginning of some legacy building for our children.  I would love for Henry and Ingrid (and, if the good Lord wills, other Smitty babies to follow!) to say, "My mom's house was a little messy, and her meals were edible, but DAMN did she love Jesus and serve others in His name!" (damn is optional, only used for emphasis).  I would consider that a life well-lived.  To be honest, right now my legacy would be something like, "She picked up after me a lot and made sure she socialized with other Moms in something she called 'Play Group'."  Am I the only one feeling this??

In the coming weeks I am giving myself the challenge to embrace some Jesus as I walk away from my idols.  I have some specific areas of service I am passionate about that I hope God can use me in. He is certainly worthy of my time and focus.

Ingrid Rose

Our little lady is here! (OK, she's been here for over a month, but per usual, I am tardy in posting.)  She arrived on March 16th (1 week early) at 10:40 AM and weighed in at 7 lbs 5.5 oz and 19 inches long!

As I did with Henry, I want to share her birth story to document the day, since I know the details will leave me at some point!
On the evening of the 15th, a Friday, Jerry got home from work to hang with us before he had to take off for a birthday celebration for a coworker/friend of his. It was a beautiful day--one of our first of the spring after a very snowy February and early March! Henry and I had taken advantage of the day earlier with a good walk and lots of time playing outdoors.  Almost right when Jerry got home, I felt my first uncomfortable contraction of the entire pregnancy.  I had had more Braxton Hicks this time around than my first pregnancy, but as with the first, none of them were uncomfortable until labor arrived.  This immediately made me anxious, since I think my subconscious knew 'this was it', but my brain worked hard to convince me that we were still at least a week away from a baby (apparently denial is alive and well even on the 2nd go round of pregnancy).  You see, my midwife and I had a beautiful plan that went something like, the following Friday I would come in and she would strip my membranes in the afternoon since she was on call that weekend, and I would deliver a beautiful baby girl into her arms some time that evening or the next morning. Doesn't that sound amazing?? Yeah, I agree.  But apparently this child, like my first, is showing me CHILDREN ARE UNABLE TO BE CONTROLLED. CRAZINESS, right??
Where was I? Yes, so I had my first uncomfortable contraction, but like any smart woman in labor would do, I sent my husband away to a delicious Hibachi steakhouse and far away from me.  I kid you not, the moment he walked out the door, I put Henry down for the night, had another 'uncomfortable' contraction, and went into superwoman mode.  I packed the go bag (of course I hadn't already done that-she wasn't coming for another week!), dusted, cleaned, scrubbed the tub, finished sewing some burp cloths, and continued to pay attention to those ever present nagging contractions.  By the time Jerry was leaving dinner, he got a text that read something like 'Grab me a Clif bar and Naked Juice at the gas station, and grab the birth ball from Chris and Amanda's'. You've gotta love marriage, because after that text, Jerry immediately texted back, 'You're in labor, aren't you?'.  The man knows me well.  I believe I texted back something like....'Maybe. I just want to be prepared.'  Ha! My subconscious was laughing in my face.  Jer grabbed the stuff, and by the time he got home I had downloaded the trusty contraction timer app on my phone and we were hangin in the 'every 5 minutes lasting 30 seconds' category.  We decided this was it.  We made our calls and arrangements for Henry, and Jerry immediately cracked a Diet Coke.  Go time.  At this point it was about 9:30-10 at night.  We knew we were in for a long one, so we didn't rush, but just talked through some of our Bradley Birth stuff, got the birth ball set up, and looked at each other with the excited/nervous look couples give each other when they know life is about to change for the better.
We spent the next several hours alternating between walking, resting in bed, relaxing in the tub (just me, thanks), and chatting about how surreal this all was.  I have to admit, the labor/birth I was prepared for this time around was supposed to be fast and furious.  Henry came in about 10 hours start to finish, so I thought certainly this one would come racing out, barely giving us time to get to the hospital.  I was wrong.  Sweet girl took her time.  Our friends arrived to stay with Henry, we called the midwife (my midwife wasn't on call that weekend, so there was some mental adjusting going on for me there) who said she assumed she'd be seeing me shortly given my last labor, and then we just waited.  My contractions stayed 5 to even 6 minutes apart and lasted anywhere from 30 seconds to 1 minute for the next several hours. Jerry ended up actually falling asleep for a good portion of it (and I'm glad he did), and I just asked God for patience, as I could tell the labor I was prepared for was not the labor I was having.  Around 3:30, I woke Jer up and we decided to walk around the neighborhood because I was finally beginning to feel uncomfortable with contractions.  After a quick walk and some nibbles of a Clif bar, we decided we were off to the hospital.  We got there around 4:30 and when they checked me I was 5 cm-woohoo! That was my goal!  They checked me in to L&D quickly and we were doing this for real!  We also called our birth photographer Amy (who was amazing throughout!) so she could capture the process!  God bless her for waking up at 5 on a Saturday!  We met the midwife, Sara, who I immediately liked, and her midwifery student (whose name I cannot remember--terrible!).  I was so at ease once I knew I would be comfortable with them.  They were sweet and brought me towels and just sat with me during times of my labor....which, to me, is why a girl picks a midwife over an OB any day of the week! A healthcare provider serving her patient? Craziness!  Anyways, I won't bore you with the details of the next several hours, since they consisted of a cycle of walking, birth ball, tub, and being monitored (20 minutes out of every hr) in the bed.  Somewhere in there I was checked and was a 7, which sort of comforted me, but also made me wish I was progressing quicker.  The contractions truly never got closer together than about every 3-5 minutes.  They did get increasingly uncomfortable, but I remain surprised at how much time I had in between each contraction. Since it was nearing sunrise, I know it was enough time to fall asleep in between some contractions!:)

Let's take a minute to talk about my husband.  #1.  He loves his sleep.  I have had 2 children. Both have included laboring all night, which means he's laboring all night with me.  #2.  He is my 1 and only birth coach, so there is no second string to fall back on.  I needed him, and he knew it.  #3.  We hadn't prepared for this birth like we did our first, so we both knew it could be shaky this time around.  But y'all, he was amazing.  He was pushy with the hospital staff when he needed to be, he was confident when I was unsure, he was awake all night, he spoke softly to me, played music for me, and squeezed my hips together during contractions until his arms were shot. I'd put us up against any husband/wife labor team and be confident we would waste them with all our one-ness and unity!!:)  One of the best takeaways I have from this labor is that I picked a pretty great guy.  When the chips are down, he's my man.
Back to Miss Lady.  Around 10 AM is when I asked the midwife to check me again.  At this point I was pretty mentally shot.  I know I sound like a huge wuss for saying so, since it had been just about 12 hrs of labor, but I really thought I would have a baby in my arms at this point.  I was 9 cm and completely thinned out.  I asked her to break my water to jump start some serious labor business, and she kindly obliged.  The next stage of labor was what scared me.  With Henry I had never truly felt the urge to push, and ended up with bloodshot eyes that would make a crack addict sob. I talked with Sara and..... let's call her Africa (she was in the Peace Corps and spent time there...as she told me when I begged her to distract me during some nasty contractions) that pushing was my nemesis and I would need lots of tips and encouragement.  They really were great in helping me choose positions and take my time to really feel the urge to push before even mentioning the idea.  Only about 20-30 minutes after breaking my water, I was really feeling like I needed to push and so I ended up deciding to try and do that facing backwards on the bed while on my knees--totally crazy because I thought that idea would mortify me!  It ended up being genius, because 2 pushes later, Ingrid Rose Smith joined the world.  I think I said something like 'I can't believe we did it, sweet girl!', because I honestly didn't believe she would ever come at a couple points during labor!  The first thing I noticed was that she had (and still has) the most adorable pucker right before she cries.  She looks a little like her brother, but has her own little quirks and features that are completely her own.
We were left for at least an hour or more to just bond with our sweet girl, nurse, and rest our weary heads in the room before they checked her over and moved us up to postpartum, where we relaxed and waited for family to arrive.  My parents and brother and his fiance came all the way down to meet Ingrid on her first day of life!  Jerry's mom had driven down at the crack of dawn to take over with Henry when our friends left, and she brought him to the hospital that afternoon to meet his baby sister!  He immediately gave us the stink eye and kept his distance, but quickly warmed up to Ingrid (with the help of some chocolate pudding) and was sad to leave her later that evening.

Though I could go on and on, I'll just say this.  Another great pregnancy and healthy delivery just flat out makes me grateful for God's willingness to bless Jerry and I with children.  I truly am grateful that He has allowed for this process to be somewhat seamless for us when I know that is not the case for so many.  We definitely have our eyes wide open with our second child, and know that parenting is a challenge and not always rosy, but that it's so worth it because of how it teaches us to look past ourselves and invest in the tiny humans who we would give anything for.
Ingrid is sweet and spicy and a great sleeper.  She is loved by her mama, daddy and super affectionate big brother.  She is a daughter of Jesus and I pray she will know and love Him one day and give her life to Him.  Praises be!

3 reasons I don't {want to} have it all together.

It's been this looming feeling I've had for the last couple of months.  "How am I going to keep it together with 2 kids??"  I have to say, it took me a minute to pull it together after Henry was born, but we got into a groove and life runs pretty smoothly these days.  I mean, there is 1 of him and 1 of me--how bad can it get, right?  But 2?? That's double the discipline (one day), double the bodily fluids, and double the DNA!  Who knows what that could look like!

"How will I keep it all together with 2 kids?"

Yes, yes, Michelle Duggar, you make 19 (or is it 20?) look like a breeze, but to those of us who God has only allotted the normal amount of patience and softness in our voice, 2 kids CAN be a daunting thought!

And here it is: I won't keep it together. Furthermore, I realized I don't want to. For 3 reasons.

1.  No one likes that mom/woman who has it all together!!  She is the untouchable one who no one wants to be friends with because she would constantly make anyone feel like a lesser mom and human being.  Am I wrong? Maybe it's just me who doesn't want to be friends with that woman...and if I am, I apologize.  But do you know what? I have actually been that woman (or tried to be her) on several occasions.  On that day when I got my workout in, and even ate healthy, showered, had a good hair day and my child was in his cute outfit and behaving well--I was her! And I kinda liked that other woman might look at me for a moment and think, "If only I could have it all together like her!"  Why would I ever want anyone to think that of me, when the reality is my husband and I fought about something the night before, and the baseboards in my house haven't been touched, well, ever.  In other words--I SO do not have it all together.  We women want to have beautiful relationships with each other, but we distance ourselves from others by seeming superior in many different areas of life.  I would personally like to be more conscious of that in my relationships with other women.

2.  It's all just an illusion.  As I said above, the days when I look like I have it together, it's likely I really don't.  I have convinced myself I do, but If I am honest with myself, I most certainly don't.  And that's ok, isn't it?  I don't believe I am supposed to.  If I went on a quest to truly have it all together, I would most certainly drive myself insane, as every single facet of my life: my marriage, my parenting, my home, my friendships, my faith, my physical body would have to be precariously balanced at all times.
Blogging might just be the worst vehicle for keeping that illusion alive, by the way.  Because through it, you can see snapshots of my life that seem perfect and beautiful, as if all is well in my world all the time.  And frankly, I need to be reminded to show all sides of it, not just the pretty stuff.
Either way, I want to be more conscious of the fact that even if the day to day seems great, I do not now, nor will I ever, have it all together.

3.  The times when I don't have it all together bring me closer to the One who actually does.  Amen??  Why would I even want to entertain the illusion of togetherness when God promises me He does have it all together, and if I can just get to a place where I am dependent on Him, He will provide me with opportunity to love others in the midst of their chaos and lack of togetherness!  I am humbled by the fact that God actually does see the corners of my life (and house) that need attention, yet loves me just the same.  He sees my flaws as a wife and mother, yet has entrusted me with an amazing (and patient) husband, and nearly 2 children. He actually thinks I can care for these precious people and not mess it up! But here's the rub--I only have to surrender to him each day.  HA! So easy, right? Because, funny thing, I thought I did that this morning.  But by 10 AM I had already lost my patience, and cared about my own selfish desires more than others'. So maybe it's surrendering every couple hours? Every couple minutes? Constantly?  I'm pretty sure it's the latter.  And maybe one day it will become second nature to surrender.

I am well aware that this post is cliche, and that a million women have blogged/written/spoken about this very subject in similar ways.  This is just something I needed to say (to my hoards of followers:)) to affirm in my own life.  As I embark upon this journey of being a mother to children, may my goal never be to 'have it all together', but to learn to surrender to Him more completely, and in turn, be able to share with other mothers (who hopefully see that I don't have it all together) and women how God has given me freedom in resting in His grace and holiness when I lack what I think it takes to be the perfect wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend.

Hope this encourages you today. Thanks for reading.

**Disclaimer: This post written while my 1 child has been sick upwards of 8 days, is currently puking frequently; also written with possible puke in my hair and 7 months pregnant.  I am realizing how un-shocking it is that the above thoughts were on my mind:)

it's (definitely) not about the stuff.

Well, 2013 has arrived.  And as with every other odd-numbered year, it leaves me unsettled, but I might as well embrace it--it's here for another 355 days I believe.  And it can't be such a bad year, considering it will bring us a beautiful baby girl in no less than 3 months! I can't believe it!
Let's not get ahead of ourselves, though.  There was Christmas, and New Years, a couple birthdays, and lots of good family, food and fellowship time since I last posted! Since that's all way too much for you people to read through, I'll give you the highlights:

-I turned 28. Woohoo. That is all.

-We did several of our Advent activities that I mentioned in my last post! Here is some photo proof! I would love to do it again next year with even more zeal!

1. Making 'cookies' together.  It ended up being peppermint bark, and it was delicious!!

2. Going through the Nativity story with Henry.  It was a precious few moments that I loved.

 3. Union station to look at the trees and choo choos. Little man was in heaven!

 4. Hot chocolate bar/Christmas movie night with friends! (We watched Home Alone)

5. Church Christmas concert. Bad pic, but adorable-ness abounds.  Can't wait until Henry gets to join!

-We had such a fun little family Christmas here.  Drove around looking at lights, fun Christmas meal at home, Jer and I stuffing Henry's stocking together....it was perfection.  Henry got a play kitchen that Jer and I labored over for many weekends and nights.  I loved that part of it enough that I want to do a DIY gift for him every Christmas henceforth!  Though I'm not sure what good ole' mom and dad could create at the age of 16 that would impress our super cool teenager (a car? a cell phone?)....but I'm hoping we can keep it running awhile!

-We headed to Arkansas to see extended family that included laughing, food, hilarious gift opening, and apparently cookies for breakfast for Henry:). A great time was had by all!

-Then to our house we went for Christmas with my family.  Henry and his cousin Kya actually had fun together this Christmas, which was great to watch.  And as always, I start sobbing when I think of how fun it is to see the ones I love love on my child like they do.  Can I get an Amen??  We also get to add a new member to our family because my little brother and his girlfriend got engaged! Here are the girlies in their matching PJ's!

-Then there was a little working, relaxing, and healthy-ish eating, and then off to Omaha we went to see Jer's family for New Years and Henry's Birthday!  I made a cake.  I am both embarrassed and proud of it.  Given the heat that Elmo's been under lately, he was lucky to grace this cake.  But, being the somewhat questionable mother I am, I encouraged my child to embrace Elmo regardless of what he's done to teenage boys in the past! Here it is!

He also received a bike from mom and dad and the giant piano from Big from Grandad and Mermer, among other things.  The kid needs no gifts until 2014.

-Grandad Smith broke his ankle before Christmas, so he was stuck in his chair most of the time, but was a great sport with all of the little ones running like crazy around the house and a good time was had by all!!  Jer's parents even graciously kept 3 little ones on NYE so the parents could GET WILD!!!! This apparently meant going for appetizers and drinks (cranberry juice and Sprite for those with child) until 10:45 so we could all come back and fall asleep on floors and couches before midnight--did you hear me say WILD???

-Let's revisit Henry's birthday, though. My child is 2.  He is a little person.  He is cute. He talks in somewhat full sentences.  He is tender-hearted.  He is inquisitive.  He knows that there will be a baby and that he is a brother.  I only have a few more months with just he and I at home during the week.  I know every mom worries about loving baby #2 as much as #1, but I don't.  I do, however, worry about not being able to give as much time and attention to Henry as I do now.  I know that I won't have the patience or ability to let him carry the toilet paper up the driveway, even when it takes 8 minutes, just because he wants to help.  I will need to get inside because the baby needs to eat or is bawling or I've just had a long day. I hate the thought that I will be spread thinner and thus not as patient of a mommy as I am able to be now.  Will that damage him? What will I miss when I'm in a hurry because of another baby? It's hard to think of it without tearing up, because I want to be the perfect mom to him and also a perfect mom to our baby girl, who will no doubt get less attention than Henry did as an infant.  But God is gracious, right? He will give me what I need and fill in the gaps in my parenting with grace and a perfect love for my child, right?? I'm counting on it. 

-I don't want to leave you with the depths of my mommy concerns, so I'll leave you with some more ideas for baby girl!  The nursery is a work in progress....but no pics yet! Did I tell you she has a name? Ummmm, no, I'm not going to tell you.  But she has a name! Woohoo!!  For now, just look at all the cuteness that abounds when another XX chromosome-r enters our world!

Ordered this baby turban from Etsy! Can't wait!!

Such fun inspiration for little sister/big brother photos!

 Simple paint job to repurpose and old fan from DIY Maven!

Baby Toms- need I say more?

It's been fun revisiting the holidays through the written word.  Makes me realize how blessed we are to have people we love in our lives that span a pretty great distance.  More than anything I am grateful for God's provision in our lives, tangible and intangible.  He is faithful even in the midst of messes--I am learning that more and more as I live this life.  Love to you all in the beginning of this New Year!