A literary smorgasbord, natch.

I'm sitting here watching the NCAA final and remembered I have a blog. If it were a child it would be starving, unkempt and starved for affection. Since it is not, I neglect it at will and then smother it with love and kisses sporadically. ....so get ready for a sloppy wet one, interwebz.

Happy belated Easter! He is risen, indeed! I shared a verse that struck me particularly this Easter on Instagram: In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, "Why do you look for the living among the dead?"  Luke 24:5  I am just struck by the fact that I serve a risen savior who promises us abundant life.  Not the kind that leaves me feeling exhausted, unappreciated, or unsettled. The kind that fills my heart and even overflows it because of how perfect and life-giving it is.  But.  Sometimes I still walk away from it or ignore it because I believe that life can be found in children or my husband's affection or social media or losing post baby el beeeees.  Spoiler alert: life is not found there.  So why do I look for life among what is dead? The answer is embarrassing.  I am human and selfish and forgetful.  I was grateful for this reminder this weekend.
In the vein of Easter is spring.  I just have a simple thought here.  I am so grateful for what age has done to me in regard to seasons. I literally drive around seeing green and realize GOD DOES THIS EVERY YEAR! Do you people realize this? He lets things die and then brings them back to life.  I used to just be all, 'ummm, yeah, that's what spring is. BFD.'  And now I'm all, 'God is so artistic and faithful and amazing! His Earth screams of His power, and we just drive around it singing Taylor Swift nonsense and don't even appreciate the tulips and cherry blossoms and lots of other flowers I do not know the name of.' (Hey, I said I appreciate it, but I'm no horticulture genius!)

Moving on.

I gave up Diet Coke for lent.  And I actually followed through on it.  Short of the resurrection, this may be the biggest miracle of all time.  Some have referred to Diet Coke as the Nectar of the Gods, NBD.  So.....lent turned into rehab for me this year.  Days 1-10 were torturous.  There was anger, gnashing of teeth, tremors and things of this nature.  Days 11-20 were uncomfortable and my 'can do' attitude was more like 'suck it' at this point.  Days 21-40 were just your basic grind it out kind of a situation.  But friends, there was no denying that I am an addict in truest form and it ain't a good feeling.  It forced me to look at my vice with new eyes, and suffice it to say I don't plan on going back to it for the forseeable future.  Why? I sleep better at night and snack less at night because of it.  I think clearer and don't rearrange my life to find a gas station when the clock strikes lunch.  Will I go back to drinking my beloved DC? I won't rule it out.  But if you're on the fence about giving up a vice, I would of course encourage you to do it.  You'll never regret it and you'll learn a few things about yourself along the way! Another side note? Group text is the new support group! (I'm lookin at you, Jen and Tara! Couldn't have done it without ya!)

Gwendolyn is 5+ months old, y'all.  She's just now giving us a glimpse into her real personality, and I love every bit of it.  She's relaxed but excitable, determined yet sweet, and man does this girl love her siblings.  She always keeps one eye on Ingrid (right on, sister) and her eyes light up when Henry gives her his attention. She loves the whispers of her daddy and she's pretty keen on me too (boobs)! We love Gwennie P with all our hearts!!

Let's see....I'm watching this show lately.  It speaks to me on 63 levels and is genuinely a positive show.  That hardly exists any more, so I'm loving it!
I follow these girls on Instagram and it's my favorite follow lately! Who knew that joint was hiding so many gems! And these girls do the hard work for you, so you can get in and get out quickly if you know what I mean!
You know I can't leave you without my expert fashion advice, so I leave you with these gems.
Get these sandals if you want to feel romantic and vintage.
Buy these if you are practical with a side of hipster. I got them last fall and haven't looked back!
Wear this if you are super confident and could care less what people think of you (AKA my hero).

Let me know if you are aware of a one piece swimsuit that makes you look like a million bucks but costs under 50-tummy control action preferred, thankyaverymuch.

Gwendolyn Pearl: A Birth Story

I don't mince words in birth stories, so read on if you want to hear words like dilated, membranes, and meconium, mmmmmk?


At my 39 week appointment on Wednesday morning the 22nd (6 days before due date), I talked to my midwife Jeane about ways to speed the labor process along.  She checked me and I was 2 cm dilated and 90% effaced. At first she said that she felt like stripping my membranes wouldn't likely produce tangible results, i.e. a baby.  After chatting a bit, I either convinced her or she changed her mind, and she went ahead and stripped my membranes to see if we could have a baby that night!  I headed home with the kids, and grabbed Chipotle on the way home because it sounded good (why would I do this to myself?!?!).  After feeding them lunch, it was nap/quiet time and I got some time to myself.  I kept busy and in motion, trying to help this baby shimmy on down the birth canal while occupying my mind so I wouldn't overanalyze each twinge.  I should also add that I made myself a nice strong cup of red raspberry leaf tea (I swear by the stuff ever since Henry was born following a gallon of 5 bag tea!) and also a capsule of RRL given to me by a friend!  After cleaning up and thinking through birth stuff, I sat down to read a book for a bit.  I began to notice some definite contractions, but wasn't too focused on them, as I had been having them often this pregnancy.  I did notice that they had some regularity though, so I went ahead and downloaded the contraction timer on my phone to keep track.  They were about every 7 minutes and lasting 45 seconds.  I texted Jer to let him know.  He seemed to think it could be wishful thinking, as I really wanted to have the baby that night! (I'm a planner to the bitter end, I tell ya!)  I decided to get back up and keep busy in case this wasn't the real deal.  It seemed like the contractions went away when I was up and moving, so I started to think maybe Jer was right.  The kids were up shortly after this and I went for a walk with them, taking my time, but walking about 3 miles to keep encouraging little lady to vacate the building!  We got home around 5 when Jer got home from work. As we got dinner ready, I think he was noticing I seemed uncomfortable at times.  I was beginning to think this was it also, as contractions had strengthened on the walk and I was pausing even just when standing at home.  Dinner/bath/bedtime is a bit of a blur for me, as I spent most of it trying to be aware of labor while trying to be normal 'mom' to the kids, who were wondering what was up with me.  We did call Jer's mom before dinner to have her start heading South from Omaha to stay with the kids.  If this was it, we wanted to let her know before it got too late!  By the time the kids were almost down (7:30), I knew we would need to get to the hospital before his mom arrived at 10, so we called a good friend to come stay with the kids until she got there and I let Jeane know we would be heading to the hospital soon, which she agreed with. On the drive there, I waffled between thinking we were leaving too early and thinking we made the right decision.  Contractions were definitely strong, but were still anywhere between 4-5 minutes and lasting about 1 minute.  I like to get to the hospital as late as possible without being too uncomfortable on the drive over.  We were able to have some good conversation on the way there in between contractions about the fact that this would probably be our last drive to a hospital with the anxious expectation of what was to come.  I've always felt really good about Jer and I's teamwork with labor/delivery/newborn stuff, and I will always have a special feeling in my heart about each of those times with our kids.
Back to labor! We arrived at the hospital and Jeane was waiting for us there.  We headed to a triage room where she checked me and told me I was dilated to a 6! I was somewhat surprised because I didn't feel like it had been too intense yet and a 6 seemed further along than I felt!  We headed to a L&D room and got checked in while Jer let people know this was it! At this point I was still feeling pretty comfortable and Jeane and I decided I should labor in the tub for a bit to stay comfortable and relaxed.  The Royals happened to be playing a World Series game that night, and being the baseball fan that I am, we also turned the game on for entertainment! I think Jer, Jeane and my nurses were pretty pumped about that!
After laboring in the tub for 45 minutes or so, Jeane wanted to see how I was progressing.  She checked and I was dilated to a 9! Given that we had been chatting (but definitely with the occasional intense contraction!), I was caught off guard at how speedy this labor was! She mentioned that she could break my water (it's never broken on its own with any of my 3) or we could get back into the tub if I wasn't mentally ready for what breaking my water would do (duh, a baby!).  I decided I needed some more time, so we did more tub time until I started feeling the urge to push, which was only about 20 minutes.
I should mention here that, while Jer was as supportive as ever during this labor, Jeane was really amazing as well.  She gave my poor husband a break in round 3 by playing role of doula, midwife and friend.  She chatted with me, massaged my head, talked me through every stinking contraction, and reassured me every time I was stressed or concerned.  That's a great midwife if you ask me!
Once we knew it was time to push, it was back to the bed, which is no small task when you are fully dilated and ready to have a baby! Jeane broke my water and delivered what was some bummer news for me--there was meconium in the amniotic fluid.  This meant the NICU team would need to be present when Gwendolyn was born in case she aspirated any of the fluid during birth.  This information threw me off my labor game for a bit.  We've truly never had complications with any of our kids, so a small bump in the road wasn't a big deal, but took me a moment to calm back down and get my game face on.  Once we had a nice crowd going in the room (woohoo!) I needed to do some pushing, but could not for the life of me find a position I felt good in.  I have some serious mental blockage with pushing that goes all the way back to Henry, so I won't bore you with the details, but long story short Jeane really wanted me pushing sitting up or on my side and I wanted to be on my knees.  With the meconium situation, she said that wasn't a great option, so I had to give the old sitting and pushing option a try.  I was so convinced it wouldn't work that I wanted to just keep Gwen in and call it a day! Seeing as how that wasn't happening, I caved and gave a good push while sitting.  Jeane told me she was literally right there and I just needed to give a couple more good pushes!  I'm an overacheiver, so I gave the best push of my life (too good I think!) and Gwen was out at 11:17 PM!
I wanted to have her right on my chest to get a look at this sweet baby girl, but she took a big enough gulp of fluid that they had to cut her cord and suction her a bit before I could have her.  I felt a little nervous but was reassured by the nurses that all was well, she just needed a good suctioning.  Once that was taken care of, I got to stare at Gwendolyn and tell her how amazing it was to have her in my arms! She definitely looked like a Jerry/Megan product and we fell in love immediately (duh!).  After the dreaded stitching and pounding on my stomach, they left us alone with Gwen for some serious staring and eating and staring again.  Jer and I loved those moments with her and felt like she just belonged with our little family.  We also loved that she let us experience labor during the day/evening as opposed to overnight! It really is amazing to not be so sleepy after delivery!
We were transferred to postpartum shortly after and after staring some more and letting the post-birth adrenaline wear off, we alternated rest and eating for the remainder of the night.  The kids came to meet their baby sister that afternoon and did pretty well given the shock that a tiny human is to small children!  Jer's mom was so sweet to bring them to meet her and made them feel loved while we were at the hospital, or 'hotel' as 3rd time parents refer to it.
The following day we bugged out with our precious addition, and the rest is history, folks:)